God's In Control

God has been teaching me about REAL-ness lately. I keep coming back to this . Although i don't understand why. It has been difficult , me understanding what God wants from me. Praise God my mom is doing 100 percent better after her sudden heart surgery. I praise and thank you Jesus every day for my mom's mile stone of quitting smoking after almost or if not a little over 40+ yrs of smoking. I am starting to see some light from out of the darkness i have been in but its only through the stress and storms that i am able to say this.I have learned, 1st, God has to be ABOVE ALL else. No if's , buts, or ands about it. I have to stay on my knees and seek him daily, not justpull Him out of the darkness when i need him.He has pulled all securities away and taught me that He is the substainer of my needs. He is my Provider. He is and has Always been there.

All the things i said i was looking forward to in 2011, He is revealing to me. The Bible is becoming more alive each day.

God Is in Control. But only if you Lose control.

Mercy Seat

Good Morning,
I thought i would post this before i forget it. Yesterday on the way home from work this is the image i saw in the clouds. I know, some of you may be laughing but im being for real. I mean Seriously. I was pulling out of the store parking lot when i got on the road good i looked at the clouds and saw what looked just like the Cherubs wings are in the above pic.

The Cherubs were to cover the ark of the covenant and the mercy seat where the very presence of God once sat.
What was the message for my drive home? well i don't exactly know but what i felt in my spirit and made me laugh all the way home was. God is reminding me, he is here with me and his angels have their wings covering me protecting me from Satan's snares.

I absolutely love this reminder and Thank God for the gentleness of his spirit. I asked to feel his presence and he shows me his presence. Is he just awesome and soooo worthy of the praise.

GET REAL

I always read through my previous posts before i set up another blog, just so that i dont make a duplicate. My last blog should have been this title but its ok. The middle of February i started watching this revival on tv and i started missing my christian life. For those who dont know, a few yrs i turned away, not completely but to more extreme than none. If that makes any sense. to get to the point, i had lost all faith. Just down and out on the "going through the motions " kinda religion.
Well now i signed up a couple of weeks ago for a Beth Moore bible study we are doing online, called Stepping up. Well i have been slacking in my studying with this. Just cant seem to get motivated. So i did the catching up thing last night. One of the questions for the homework assignments was

What is God Saying to you today?

A couple of weeks i have been talking to friends, my spouse and family about being real, i want a real relationship with my spouse, with my kids, and my sisters and mother. I am sooo tired of going through the motions. You know what i mean?.
Mean what you say, do what you mean. Keep it real. No lies, or secrets. just Get real, With God , with yourself and with me. I want something REAL

I have been praying telling God that i want him to be real in my life. I want to feel his presence every day. I want to know beyond the shadow of a doubt he is there.

I mean i know he is there. but i havent acted like it. Sooooo What is/was God saying to me yesterday and still today? "In order for me to be real in your life ms Mandy, you HAVE to put me as being real in your life. Not the other way around. Once you start living as though you count on me for every single breath you take and every single need you have in your life then and only then will i start being Real to you. I never leave you. I havent left you, I have always been right there waiting for your season to bring you back. I always love my children but sometimes you have to let them experience things on their own before they will discover thats they needed the parent all along. This is where you are at now. "


Wow, how much clearer can you get than that! Scold me... but thats ok, b/c its well needed and appreciated. Did you notice the title to this bible study... Stepping Up" Well that's what God was/is saying time to step up.

Now the next question.
How do i do that? How can i get my faith back? I guess im on a journey again, finding my way back and i have Jesus right beside me guiding my way.

Welll ok thats it for the blog today. Enjoy reading.

Love mandy

2011

After a few years of having ups and downs i thought i would give this blogging thing another shot.
2010 has been a year of heartache to say the lest. First, my sisters and I lost one. There were 4 girls in this lil family and on February 9th, 2010, one of the sisters received devasting news.
Ovarian cancer... Pause... ok thats possibly treatable, little hope still there... **breathe*** Also Lung Cancer... ***Gasp***Hope fading fast... ANNNNDDD..... The reason for your headaches... Brain Cancer... That day we lost all hope in a recovery ... And on April 14th , my dear sister , my best friend passed away. She never recovered from her headaches . It was the longest and toughest 2 months i have ever lived.

Shortly after my sister passed away , my son who is 19, decided that he didnt want to be with his girlfriend anymore. She was here at my house when he emailed her the breakup... OMG, it was devasting to me.. This girl is the sweetest most adorable lovable person i know. I cried the whole entire weekend!

On the up side of things, i got closer to knowing that i am almost 98% percent sure that my son's ex girlfriend's oldest child is my grandbaby. Yeap, im a nana! And im just loving it. Am disappointed b/c i havent seen him yet and circumstances will not allow him to know me but Im nanna just the same!!!







Daughter finally got her GED.. Yes Lord Am i happy about that!She walks for her Graduation in a couple of months.

I have had my ups and Down in my christian walk. Mostly because, my children are grown now, they arent the lest bit interested in church. My fiance rolls his eyes when i mention church . So when you hear the words, Home is where the heart is... or maybe it should be the Heart is where home is :(. Well my heart was the happiest when i had my family in church with me.. now its just a faded dream of days gone and never shall return.

I have no girl friends to have good christian conversations, good laughter or just for encouragement. Having girlfriends to go to coffee or lunch or girls day out with doesnt sit well with "some people" sooo i stay home aside from working.

Man what i would do for a good worship service.. A good woman's onvention.. A good woman's bible study.

The title is 2011. A year for Change.. I am making this year count for something. I am paying off things.. Making an extra effort to get with friends, spending more time with my sisters.
Will be trying for a place of my own, renting or owning, doesnt matter, where i can be free. I cacn be me.. Where im not critized, riduculed. Where i can be Drama free. Well as drama free as i can get.

Well i guess thats it for now..
To those that read this blog... Lets get the conversation going.
What is a good relaxing technique for you to "destress" yourself?

My De-stresser.. A bout 3 cups of Coffee, and slipping away to soak in a hot bath for an hour.